Here at Podular Broadcast Network Radio, we strive every day to bring you the most premium, exclusive podular content right to your earbuds through the magic of the information superhighway. Our commitment is to excellence in bringing you, the listener, the most informative cutting-edge "podcast" programming related to news, entertainment, and other subject matters our data analysts tell us are trending.
Our state-of-the-art Broadcast Pods beam PBNR's quality content, 24-7, 365! The latest Mark III models now feature Broad Spectrum Podulation-Depodulation Amplification. I know, it's about time, am I right? In addition, they have a Catastrophic Podular Implosion rating of 37, so I'll be sleeping easier at night. The High-Frequency Broadcast Inversion Matrix has also been vastly improved over that CB radio we used to have in the old Mark II's. They also come in a matte black or chrome finish. Yeah, who's the big dog now, Latvian Public Access Radiotelevision? We'll see who's laughing at next year's Podular Broadcasters softball game and BBQ. PBNR out!
Ingrid was born in a small impoverished hamlet in the rural mountains of Austria. After the death of the family ox, Ingrid took to the plow, cultivating the land, and allowing her family to survive one more winter. When still but a wee lass, she sold all her possessions for a train ticket to the Big City. Upon arriving, she impressed a promoter with her feats of strength and endurance at a local fair. He took a chance on her, and covered her entry fee into the Rural Wench Scuffle and Kerfuffle tournament, where Ingrid proved to be an unstopped juggernaut of Austrian muscle. After taking the championship, she began traveling the world, training with other great fighters, and competing in numerous tests of martial skill and strength. Years later, she would compete in the fabled Ultimate Ninja Bear Warrior challenge, where she would be the first human in history to defeat Mr. Snuggleclaws. Also, she's the network president of Podular Broadcast Network Radio.
Lisa is the station manager here at PBNR. She handles clerical and managerial issues at, uh, the station. Answering phones, and doing other things. Uh. I think she's into scrap-booking. There are pictures of people on her desk, but they don't really look like her, so I'm not sure who they are supposed to be. She always picks all the toppings off of her pizza on company pizza days, which is weird. If you want cheese pizza, just say you want cheese pizza, Lisa! You're wasting perfectly good toppings.
Kevin is the master of the switch and dial. Turning dials, and switching switches. Also those things that move up and down on the big black control board. What are those called? They're not dials or switches. Hang on....Sliders! Yes, master of sliders, too. And buttons. No one can press a button like ol' Kevin (Note: he is not actually that old). I'm sure he studied sound stuff at a learning place at some point in the past.
Ask around the offices at PBNR, and everyone will tell you that no one brings more passion, dedication, innovation, and commitment to their job than Calvin Threepwood. Born in Missoula Montana, Calvin's first major life accomplishment was winning the June 1978 "delivery boy of the month" award for the Missola Independent northwestern at the tender age of 11. In high school, Threepwood was voted "most likely to succeed" by the Missoula High School year book club of his senior year of 1985. He was also chair of the yearbook committee, an enthusiastic participant in the AV Club, Chess Club, and Future Farmers of America (where he won the silver ribbon at the Missoula County Fair in 1983 in the best gourd, squash or pumpkin category) and founded the school's Stratego Club. Threepwood is also the creator of the beloved text-based adventure game, Gnarf Tower, inventor of the Threepwood Tripple 3D Decahedron chess variant, and the author of Mind Flayer Magazine™ Editor's Choice for best fan-submitted tabletop RPG campaign module of the month, "Enter the Wrathful Tombs of Giz'zulkia". He owns the entire 1st edition series of the Battlestar Galactica action figures, mint in packaging. He is also proud to be the administrator of the third largest Dr. Who alternate history listserv, as well as the moderator of a BBS forum dedicated to discussing modifications of ROM files for 16-bit videogame console machines.
What ungodly corner of six thousand infernal planes of Asmodeon did this perverted, iron-fisted lobotomist crawl out of? Nobody quite knows, nor do we understand his sick obsession with interfering with patient and hard-working staff who just want to enjoy harmless workplace hobbies and activities as a reprieve from the blood, sweat, and toil they put into their jobs. [Calvin, please restore Bill's previous profile immediately!]
The current intern at the office, Thaddeus Summers is responsible for managing all of the network's two social media pages. Thaddeus attends the New School, where he studies "communication." He's a real go-getter. Thad, as he likes to be called, is also very knowledgeable about coffee, which has proven invaluable during his morning coffee runs for the rest of the Staff. He's also remarkably well versed in music bands from the 80's and outdated audio technology.